my introduction to god.
growing up, my household was quite diverse. my mother always emphasized the importance of developing my own personal connection with god, regardless of the religion i chose to follow. she taught me that god exists within me and that my relationship with “him” is unique to my own experiences. during my childhood, we attended church regularly, not only for the sermon but also for the music and the sense of community that came with it.
my earliest childhood memories are of my eccentric baptist church in brooklyn, where the women were called “jewels” and separated into age groups defined by precious stones. starting as a pearl, you graduate into ruby, sapphire, amethyst, and diamond. i remember the elaborate performances for the maafa, i remember pouring libations and giving honor to our ancestors. i remember the altars burning with white candles and frankincense and myrrh. i remember a genuine community of members who all knew each other and all helped each other. i remember how stylish everyone looked, whether they were in their sunday best or wearing timbs. everyone came as they were, fashionable nonetheless, in true new york fashion.
this, of course, was heaven to my aquarius sun, leo moon mother.
i was too young to fully comprehend what we were doing. i didn’t understand what baptist or christian or god or religion even fully meant, but to me, this is how people worshipped. with community, with food, by honoring nature and history. everyone around me was on the same page, more or less. we all went to the same church, so we were rooted in the same spirit of worship. to me, this was how you connected with god; this was normal, and i never had the opportunity to question it because it was all i knew.
that completely changed when i moved down south.
the southern shift
we spent years searching for a new church home in charlotte, north carolina, finally settling in a large black baptist church. it was grand, and the congregation was full of successful black families, but it lacked the spiritual essence we cherished from our previous church. i joined the choir as my mother attempted to find community in our new city, but something didn’t quite click. looking back, it felt more like an etiquette academy than a genuine spiritual connection with god.
around 2010, we eventually stopped attending church altogether as my mom embarked on her own spiritual journey. in her quest, we explored various paths to god, including the nation of islam, buddhism, and my own exploration of the hebrew israelites. we were both seeking truth, and i found resonance in each of these paths. however, this led to confusion because even though i connected with these different versions of truth, they often seemed contradictory, challenging what i had learned from my childhood church.
yoga, meditation, crystals, herbs, and ancestral veneration, among others, were all viewed as questionable. even science became suspect, raising doubts about whether i was truly worshiping god or some false, man-made creator.
this absence of a firm spiritual foundation felt like a void. it felt like i didn’t know right from wrong, good from evil, and lacked a sense of morality. because of this, i dealt with depression and anxiety throughout my adolescent and early adult years. i yearned for a stable grounding in my spirituality and continued my quest to articulate what i longed to understand but couldn’t prove existed.
where logic meets devotion
by the time i was 21, i had been exposed to a plethora of cultures, art expressions, spiritual systems, and religious backgrounds. i had excelled in school, particularly in math and science, while majoring in choir and dance at my performing arts middle school. i attended a high school with a focus on technology and even pursued a chemistry degree during my short time at north carolina a&t.
for me, mathematics was not just a subject but a language and artform that became more profound with a deeper understanding of science.
logic intensified my appreciation for art as i explored how our brains perceive and conceptualize mathematical aspects such as perspective, size, shape, and placement. even during my time as a cosmetologist was full of math, whether that be the ratios of hair color mixing or achieving the perfect contour placement. to me, logic and imagination were inseparable partners, and i could not understand why i had to navigate seemingly separate worlds to fully embrace both.
so you can understand my frustrations with being told to “stop trying to make sense of something that isn’t made to be made sense of” when i would inquire about the origins of us, of god. the logical side of my brain simply couldn’t grasp the concept of this “god,” this “supreme being,” or this notion of a “man in the clouds” supposedly responsible for creating the entire universe. i couldn’t comprehend how people could have unwavering faith in something with no tangible proof. this dilemma deepened my skepticism about the source of it all. it seemed like everyone fell into one of two camps: those who believed wholeheartedly in science or those who believed wholeheartedly in god, with no overlap.
i just couldn’t accept that reality for myself. it sounded like a miserable way to live. it felt like an existence devoid of meaning or purpose.
it sounded like hell.
how was i expected to navigate this world, to function and find my place, without understanding the fundamental questions of why i’m here and what i’m meant to do? how could i muster hope for the future or find a sense of purpose within my reality when i was supposed to live on this planet as if i were a soulless automation, going through the motions of education, career, marriage, and parenthood without a deeper understanding of what it all meant?
the definition of faith is complete trust or strong belief.
the desire to believe and find purpose coupled with a thirst for truth and evidence brought me to a crossroads. i hold beliefs in both god and science, and it seems like everyone wants to pit these two against each other or use them to discredit one another. but in my heart, i’ve always seen them as different perspectives of the same truth, each offering a unique lens through which to understand the world. people put their faith in whatever resonates most with their understanding, and my faith relies heavily on patterns and logic.
what intrigued me the most was the concept of creation. i had encountered various versions of this phenomenon, some sounding like fairytales, some lacking the beauty of a higher power, and others seemingly created just to establish a beginning to a story.
oddly enough, they all seemed to make sense in their own way.
how could this be?
who holds the ultimate truth?
what is the truth?
the unveiling
about a year later, i began researching the effects of psychedelic mushrooms (shrooms) for mental health and enlightenment. i decided to try them for the first time with an open mind and no specific expectations. the question of our origin continued to occupy my thoughts, and perhaps unintentionally, i brought that curiosity into my trip.
i prepared with trippy visuals on my screen and soothing music, but found myself more enchanted by my surroundings. the walls appeared to breathe, plants swayed in a dance, and every object was surrounded by a trail of colors and patterns.
what struck me most was that it didn’t matter what i looked at; everything bore the same enchanting swirl of colors trailing behind it. it was almost like what the screen of a 3d movie looked like when removing those old-school red-and-blue glasses.
in that moment, i said to myself, “wow, we’re all really just different energetic patterns of the same essence.” suddenly, everything clicked.
vibrations.
colors.
the light spectrum.
matter. mass.
and most importantly, god.
it is all one.
connecting to genesis + the big bang
if we consider that black absorbs all colors while white reflects them all, we find the foundation of existence itself. it’s a paradox of nothingness and completeness coexisting as opposites, with an entire spectrum in between. it seems like everything infinitely splits – light separates from darkness producing various vibrations and patterns stemming from the original source of energy.
abrahamic religions refer to this phenomenon in the opening book of genesis: “now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep … and god said, ‘let there be light,’ and there was light.”
science references this as “the big bang theory”, which states that the universe began with a huge explosion that sent matter and energy expanding in all directions. it tells us that the universe began in a very simple state and gradually evolved over millions of years into more complex forms.
no matter what we call this driving force of nature and all living things, we share a common understanding that it all began from nothing and evolved into something. essentially, we’re discussing the same starting point, just using different names. everyone debates who’s got it right when in reality, none of us have it wrong; we’re all trying to grasp the concept.
light + darkness
humans are natural storytellers, giving value and meaning to things and creating metaphors from them. everything after the emergence of darkness and light is open to interpretation and shaped by culture.
there always needs to be some form of balance.
so, what falls under each category? as aspects of light continue to divide infinitely, so do aspects of darkness.
we frequently personify abstract concepts like “light” and “darkness” by linking them to notions of god and satan, angels and demons. depending on your perspective of the world, you will naturally see your viewpoint as “good” and the opposing side as “evil,” but the essence lies in the idea of duality and balance.
science tells us that darkness doesn’t exist as an independent entity; it’s merely the absence of light, and vice versa, making the two elements intertwined and cooperative. these dichotomies are not only external forces but are also energies that we all encounter and hold within ourselves.
to me, god is the embodiment of all of this together – encompassing everything from the source of light and darkness in its purest form, along with everything in between.
the alpha and omega.
beginning and end.
yin and yang.
the veil lifts
diversity in learning styles leads some to gravitate toward stories, mythology, and folklore, while others lean on evidence and data. when you blend these aspects with culture, anthropology, and history, you find that various religions attempt to make sense of this based on the prevailing circumstances of their time.
i’ve encountered significant resistance when using the term “god” to describe not a being, but the connection of all things. as an alternative, we often choose words like spirit, source, creator, the divine, or the universe to better convey this concept.
to me, they all represent the same idea: a source.
we can all agree that we share the same energetic source, even the bible says that we are made in god’s image, “he” created all things. the law of divine oneness is the first and most foundational law of the universe. it states that we are all connected to one source and that everything we do affects the collective consciousness of the universe.
science proves that every living thing on earth shares a universal common ancestor. the concept of infinity is the mathematical explanation of how far something can go, and in its reverse, represents how far something can shrink, and zero being the balance of either direction.
in all aspects, whether scientific or religious, we come to the same conclusion of unison.
and it’s that backing of practical logic that drives my faith.
astrology: the code revealed
the term “as above, so below” can even be proven through science.
the periodic table, for instance, reveals every known element in the universe and demonstrates how elements in the same column react similarly. it’s a scientific way of affirming the law of resonance, which, in a way, feels like magic. we’ve come to understand that the universe operates according to an intricate coding that underlies our reality.
when i delved into astrology, it became my key to understanding the language of this sacred source code. astrology puts that code on full display, revealing the energies in play at any given moment, including the unique energy we embody as a physical manifestation of the divine in that instant. almost like a giant calendar or celestial clock.
this was the final piece of my puzzle to connecting back to god, nature, and science. with a grasp of this sacred source code, everything falls into place. you gain insight into how to harness the energy gifted to you by god and learn how to wield it effectively.
it was astrology that unlocked this pattern for me, but it is not the ultimate. i have come to see the world as a sort of algorithm. and within that, i have been able to find solace in returning to my true self, to the energy represented in my astrological chart. we can look at every placement as fragmented codings in our being, and with that, if i stray from this path, i experience what many might consider “hell” – a relentless cycle of going against my own energetic blueprint.
instead of the fear instilled by human-influenced religions, hell becomes a conceptualization of facing continuous resistance because we fail to learn the lessons life presents.
“it is not THE hell, it’s YOUR hell.”
debugging faith
the consequence of not aligning with your inner divinity, or what most would reference as “disobeying god,” is not a lake of fire but rather a relentless cycle where it feels like nothing is going right for you no matter what you do.
by living out of sync with our true selves, we tap into the lowest vibrational energy that our inner coding has to offer. we are then stuck in a repetitive loop of the same life lessons, the same pain, the same results, and the same experiences.
that may be why in ancient astrology texts we find that the interpretations of certain planetary positions were very doomsday in approach. no matter how much you try to heal through it, this energy is a part of you and your nature. the challenge lies in our unawareness of certain aspects of our essence, leading us to repeatedly encounter situations that either trigger it or hinder its expression.
the natal chart merely reveals the hand we were dealt at birth, a snapshot of the world’s energy at that moment infused into our being. this energy isn’t inherently good or bad; it’s our starting point, showing what we possess within and how we can impact the collective.
when you merge this concept with the framework of the religion you were raised in, often christianity for many of us, you begin to see the value in community, value, structure, routine, discipline, discernment, and other teachings aimed at guiding you toward apotheosis; how to embrace the divinity within you and return back to the One.
the question that grounds me
every time i feel like i am living out of alignment i end up asking myself the same thing:
“what do YOU believe?”
i simply don’t believe that life is meant to be hard or that we were put here to struggle.
it’s a game. and every game has patterns. a coding.
we have been placed here with various tools that mimic this coding. easter eggs. they all follow the same pattern.
i don’t care about the beginning of existence. i feel like everything is all the same. we weren’t here, and then we were here. there was nothing and then it turned into something. you were born, and then created a story. whatever, right?
here’s the kicker: we can create ANY story.
we either take charge and create our own, or we default into the story that has been given to us.
the more distant we become from nature, from god, and from our inner coding, we naturally seek to find new gods.
other people.
tools.
technology.
greed.
recognition.
attention.
all detrimental to our being.
returning to divinity
by recognizing your inherent divinity and ability to shape your reality, you then can reach true self-discovery and self-mastery.
to understand the inner workings of a divine being, it is important to look at all expressions of god, with nature being the ultimate expression. using nature as a tool to understand the algorithm of our world allows us to restore natural order to society and thrive.
this coding is not something to believe in, worship, or a god of its own.
it is the ultimate reflection of everything in existence and its patterns, and is to be utilized with your faith, to deepen it… not separate or in place of it.
now, after unveiling these inner mechanics, i can put the veil of any religion over my practice and it will work and deeply resonate.. because i now know what i am looking at.
my goal with this text is to change the way you interact with god, spirits, and ritual.. seeing them as something that strengthens and upgrades your inner coding, instead of offloading and outsourcing your power to egregorial spirits.
it is time to evolve. the veil is nonexistent. we have deeper language and higher intelligence than ever. it is time for our faith to reflect that.
welcome to the lessons of the sacred source code.